Lonliness

This past weekend has been filled with nonstop studying. I've been doing so much studying that I've had to change the scenery up a little. I've moved from my bedroom to the kitchen to Concordia to sitting outside in the sunshine. So far, studying outside has been my favorite. I have my first fundamentals of nursing test tomorrow and I really want to do my absolute best. I have really utilized my time and don't think I could have squeezed in an ounce more of studying.

Since I've become a workaholic, I've have dropped into a state of extreme lonliness. It's not a very good feeling. What I've learned about myself and my study habits is that I have to study in a quite, solitary environment. This requires me to exclude myself from the world and I finally know what it feels like to not check facebook everyday! I feel like no one else in the program is feeling that same way, because they all study together in groups. I wish, so badly, that I could study in groups, because it would allow me to be with people who are going through the same thing as me. Group study sessions just make me feel lost and behind, which gives me great anxiety.

I miss being social, and laughing and not having to worry about what is due tomorrow. I find myself becoming stressed not over my school work, but over my social life. I live for Monday nights of watching The Bachelor with Jeffrey and the Nelson clan, because it's the only social interaction and relaxing time I get. I'm trying my best to relax and get into a routine, but there is just a never ending amount of stuff to do. I hope this stress doesn't fall into depression. 

Hand Hygiene

I have now completed my first two weeks of nursing school. Whew. My brain already feels like it's at its capacity, so I am at loss of words right now. I had my first clinical day in the hospital on Wednesday and that was a bit overwhelming. The first thing we learned was hand hygiene and how important we need clean hands to prevent the transmission of pathogens and diseases. But I found out that I am allergic to the foam hand sanitizer they use in the hospital. The foam or "waterless" sanitizer contains emollients to help moisturize the skin, and I'm guessing that is what is irritating my skin. My hands broke out in hives and were very dry, so now I have to keep my own hand sanitizer in my pocket. I'm basically going to have to have my own sanitizer on me for the rest of my life. Bummer.

                                                                       www.google.com

First Day of School

Today was long and exhausting. But it was finally our official first day of school! I felt like it was the first day of high school again, with getting your backpack together, picking out your super cool outfit and waking up extra early. It was exciting. And I loved that my roomies get up at the same time as me so I'm not lonely in the morning. I enjoy the company while eating breakfast, and they are a motivation to get up in the morning.

Basically, today was a major info day. So I'll try and fill you in on the next couple months of my life. I have class lecture on Monday's and Friday's from 7:30 am to 5 pm. Breaks dispersed throughout the day. Tuesday's I have clinical lab, where I will be practicing all my skills on a mannequin. Wednesday's I have my in hospital clinical from 6 am to 7 pm. I am assigned to Saddleback Memorial Medical Center (SMMC) in Laguna Hills. I was so excited to be assigned to this hospital because it is such a good reputation hospital and it so close to my apartment! And Thursday's are my catch up days for lecture and lab. Doesn't seem too bad right!?!

For clinicals, we start off with medical and surgical nursing, and I'm interested in seeing what I will learning first. I thought blogging would be a great way to help me remember what I learned for the day and jot down what I've been working on throughout the year, however, the HIPAA privacy rules have a different plan for me. I knew I was going to have to limit my thoughts on here because of confidentiality, but the more we discussed it today, the more I ma scared to talk about the things I'm doing. So I will not be discussing ANYTHING I do at the hospital. It just seems to risky to even take the chance. Especially since this last year, a girl got kicked out of nursing school for posting a picture of a placenta of facebook. I'm obviously not about to post anything like that, but I just want to be safe.

I am worried about the lack of time I will have to keep up my relationships. I can already see my mind being totally immersed in nursing.  But I want everyone to know that I am constantly thinking about you and praying for you and I really need all of your love and support right now more than ever.

We did a devotion this morning in class (one thing of love about Concordia) and we talked about Luke 9:23 "Then he said to them all: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.'" God got me where I am right now, in this town, at this school, living with these people, and He is going to guide me into his wishes as I deny myself and turn to him daily.

                                                   

                                                        Me, Ali, and Grace on our first day!

Something NEW

...And a NEW year it is! I am getting overwhelmed with how many NEW things are going to come my way this year. It's only been 6 days into the year and I cannot believe the changes I've already bravely endured. I am slowly getting settled into my very first apartment and trying to get used to all the NEW things that go along with such a big responsibility. It was so easy living in the dorms at Concordia. I didn't have to cook, pay bills, wash dishes, or have to worry about losing my key (just to name a few). Now I feel like I'm in the real world, in complete control of my life, and it's a little scary.

Another NEW thing is learning is how to cook. I must say I am an awful cook. Anyone else would probably say I am over exaggerating just to be nice, but really, I'm awful. And impatient. There are so many things that go into learning how to cook. You have to budget groceries, learn what's on sale, learning cooking terminology, find an easy [tasteful] recipe, attempt the recipe, then you have to avoid burning, melting or setting anything on fire. That sounds like too much work for me. The past week I have been living on cereal, toast, turkey sandwiches, and yogurt. We'll see how long I can survive on that.

Again, it is only 6 days into the year and it is already speeding by. I start school in 3 days!!!

Am I ready? No.

I am feeling rather apprehensive. What if I can't do it? What if I fail? What if the program is too fast paced for me? What if I don't like it? What if I can't prioritize my time? What if I can't prioritize my money? What if tension arises between family and friends? What if my foot doesn't heal?

It's so much to take in right now that it makes me so emotional. I am excited too, but it's hard to let that side of me be known. My prayer right now is for peace and serenity for my first day of school, and to continue that throughout the year. I can't even imagine what type of NEW things nursing school will bring. Bring on the NEW year!

2011

One of my favorite things to do on New Year's Eve is to reminisce of all the things that happened in the past year. An entire year can pass in a blink of an eye, so I think it's important to be reminded of all God's blessings or the challenges he's helped you overcome. Even though sometimes a year can feel like it's speeding by, mine felt like it was an eternity. But I was okay with that because I had a great year! I had so many things on my "to-do" for 2011 and I almost accomplished all of them. I must say 2011 was definitely my year!

The year always starts out great because I get to celebrate my birthday! But also, I got to celebrate a 2 year anniversary with my best friend. This year would have been a complete struggle without Jeffrey by my side. I am so thankful to have him in my life and he has helped make this year a great one.

As most of you know, elephants are my greatest passion in life. I think God put them on this earth just for me :) So naturally, I've always wanted to ride an elephant! Last year I felt like everyone I knew was traveling overseas and showing me all the pictures of elephants they got to see (or ride). Sadly, I was more depressed than excited for them. But this year was my year to ride my very first elephant! And her name was Dixie. In April, I was taken on a surprise trip by Jeffrey to the Santa Ana Zoo, where they give (secret) elephant rides. I say "scecret" because I have been trying for years to find a place that allows elephant rides and have found nothing. But Jeffrey wanted to bring a smile to my face, and planned this most unexpected surprise. Not only did me make me smile, but he brought tears to my eyes. So I got to ride Dixie the elephant. She was perfect. I think it was love at first sight. My next goal, now, is to feed an elephant!

This year was also filled with my greatest accomplishment. Graduation! I am still in disbelief that I graduated from college. Those four years were a huge struggle filled with sleepless nights. Gradation was so wonderful spending time with everyone I love and hold dear to my heart.

Another thing on my to-do list was to go to a Rascal Flatts concert. This has been a long awaited event, but in Septermber Amy and I both went to our first rascies concert. I'm so glad I could spend that time with my sister because I miss her so much, and we had the best time. And the concert was beyond amazing. I can't wait to see them again. Yes, now I'm getting greedy.

Here are some other events that happened this year: first time in Las Vegas, spending time in Modesto, taking an art class with my grandma, running my 3rd half marathon.

I've really been focusing on the good things that have happened this year. I'm not saying it didn't have it's downs, because it did...a lot of them. But sometimes you really have to focus on what is good to over come the bad. One of the bad things was my cousin passing away in april. It was a very emotional time on my family and God has shown me that He is holding my precious life in his hands. With all of the hardships, God is telling me He is in control.

Of course, I haven't forgotten about getting accepted into nursing school! That was also a difficult time this year when I first heard I was not accepted into the program, but as you can see God knew exactly what He was doing. I cannot wait for school to start and start fresh. It's time to begin a new year. God is amazing!

Nightmare

And so it begins...the start of my nursing nightmares. I had my first nightmare last night, where a series of unfortunate events occurred. I think trying to explain a dream to someone is one of the hardest things to do, but I'll try my best.

I woke up the morning of my first day of nursing school, to look at the clock and see that class started two hours ago. I was in a rush to get over there and was mortified I overslept. So I grabbed my books (which happened to be the wrong ones) and hopped on the bus. The entire bus ride I was in panic mode trying to figure out how I was going to walk into class unnoticed. When I got on campus I walked into a dark classroom, where the professor was giving a powerpoint presentaiton. I took a seat to find that Jeffrey was sitting right next to me. I looked at him and he kept whispering and asking me why I was so late. He wanted to surprise me on my first day, but I was actually embarrassed by the gesture. As I'm trying to explain to Jeff what happened, the professor asks me a question about the lecture and I just had a blank stare with nothing to say. It was awful. After the lecture everyone was handed what looked like a child's play toy (it was one of those yellow boxes with the shape cut outs). We had to push through all the shapes in under a minute and I, of course, couldn't do it. I don't know what that means, but I felt like an idiot.

That was my dream. I'm going to try everything in my power that those events don't happen. I usually have freak out dreams every time I'm nervous about something, so I don't think this is the end of my nightmares.

Jeffrey's in Tucson!

I'm home!!! And I can't believe I'm actually calling it home!

This past week I spent Thanksgiving with the family, minus Amy and Joel. But we did add Jeffrey to the mix. He took time away from his family to spend Thanksgiving with me and mine. The time spent we spent is what will always be our first Thanksgiving together. It's really one of the first holiday's we've spent together, and I was mostly thankful for the quality time we could spend with each other.

I, unfortunately, was getting over a cold, so the week was primarily filled with relaxing. We managed to fit a few fun events though. We really don't have any family traditions for Thanksgiving, but relaxing is what everyone needed anyway. We had a great Thanksgiving day meal, set up the [fake] Christmas tree, went black friday shopping and went on a good ol' Arizona hike.

Black Friday shopping was an event. Jeff had never been black friday shopping, so we decided to venture out. We decided to head over to Kohl's, with nothing in particular in mind. Bad idea! The store was nuts. We showed up a little after 12 am, and justed walked around the store. After about 15 minutes we left empty handed. This was no time for shopping, but our night didn't end there. We stopped by Target to meet up with my dad who had been doing shopping himself. We finally made it home around 2 am. I guess it was better than getting up at 4 am to shop.

But lets focus on nursing....

Concordia has been a little slow with further information, and leaving everyone on their toes. But this past friday I finally signed up for my classes! My schedule doesn't look too bad with 17 units. I have lectures on Monday, Thursday and Fridays, labs on Tuesdays, and clinicals on Wednesdays. What a week! At least I have my weekends free for whatever may come.

Even though relaxing has played a major role in my past weeks at home, relaxing is no longer an option. I'm currently in the process of ordering my books. Eleven to be exact. And reading and homework assignments to follow. Packing will also be squeezed in there somewhere. Oh boy.