Lonliness

This past weekend has been filled with nonstop studying. I've been doing so much studying that I've had to change the scenery up a little. I've moved from my bedroom to the kitchen to Concordia to sitting outside in the sunshine. So far, studying outside has been my favorite. I have my first fundamentals of nursing test tomorrow and I really want to do my absolute best. I have really utilized my time and don't think I could have squeezed in an ounce more of studying.

Since I've become a workaholic, I've have dropped into a state of extreme lonliness. It's not a very good feeling. What I've learned about myself and my study habits is that I have to study in a quite, solitary environment. This requires me to exclude myself from the world and I finally know what it feels like to not check facebook everyday! I feel like no one else in the program is feeling that same way, because they all study together in groups. I wish, so badly, that I could study in groups, because it would allow me to be with people who are going through the same thing as me. Group study sessions just make me feel lost and behind, which gives me great anxiety.

I miss being social, and laughing and not having to worry about what is due tomorrow. I find myself becoming stressed not over my school work, but over my social life. I live for Monday nights of watching The Bachelor with Jeffrey and the Nelson clan, because it's the only social interaction and relaxing time I get. I'm trying my best to relax and get into a routine, but there is just a never ending amount of stuff to do. I hope this stress doesn't fall into depression.