Finding Peace

This fall semester is finally over! I'm getting closer to graduation each day and really trying to keep my head held high as I have two more semesters to go.

If I've learned anything from repeating this semester it is how much I love nursing and being in the hospital. The extra experience I gained this semester is something I wouldn't take back. It's still really hard to admit, but I am finally able to say that I am glad I had to retake the class. It was a blessing in disguise and I can see that God knew exactly what He was doing.

Not only has He given me a higher passion for nursing, but he has provided me with wonderful friends in my new cohort. They have been extremely supportive through this semester and I have really grown close to them during our clinical hours.

Last day of clinical with these amazing girls!

 

 

 

 

This semester I got to experience some clinical hours in the OR, ER and ICU. I love working in other areas, because it allows me to get closer to my ultimate goal of deciding which area I would like to work in. Here are the conclusions I came to...

ER: Not for me. Too fast paced.
ICU: Pretty intense. Something to work toward for Peds
OR: So freaking cool! Not as much patient care as I would like.

My first day in the OR. Saw some pretty amazing stuff!

I also got to put in my first IV with many after that. So now I am so ready for next semester! I start January 6th with rotations in the ICU and psych. But for now, I have a 3 week blissful break where I am going to catch up grey's anatomy and wait patiently for the 17th season of The Bachelor! Eeeek!

The Ultamate Update

Quite some time has passed since my last post. And a lot has happened that I don't even know where to begin. The past semester has been one of the toughest couple months of my life. The intensity of nursing school is beyond anything I can explain and the pressure of trying to be perfect can wear a person down little by little.

The last 4 weeks of my first semester of school I went MIA from all the finals projects. I had the worst chest pain and getting about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. With all the time and work put in, I unfortunately didn't make it past the finish line. I didn't pass one of my classes (med/surg) which was a huge shock and devastation to me. Because I didn't pass one of my classes I was forced to take a few months off and begin to retake the class in the fall.

People keep telling me "Everything happens for a reason" but why in the world would me failing a class happen for a reason? It has only caused me to worry about my future, has affected my health and mental status and caused me to doubt myself even more than before. The summer was major depressing as I missed my friends in cohort 8, but I'm still learning to except the changes ahead.

Now, summer break has officially ended and I am ready to get back in the swing of things. Today was my first day of school with my new cohort and I loved meeting everyone. This semester I will be at Saddleback Memorial Hospital in San Clemente. I will also be taking med/surg. So this semester will be a bit easier than the last. With trying to stay positive, I think it's going to be a good semester!

Progress of CHOC

CHOC's new building is coming along so nicely. I can't wait to see the finished product.

Nursing station in the emergency room, just for children!

Nursing Prayer

Psalm 61: 1-5

Here my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. 

From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; 

lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

For you have been my refuge, a strong tower again the foe. 

I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

Study Time

Nursing school really does bring us closer together. I love my study group.

Clinical

I had a great day in clinical today!

This morning I was so unsure about today and how it was going to go. I was nervous because it was the first day back since spring break and I thought it would maybe take me some time to get back into the swing of things.  But I jumped right in and everything was great. I loved my patients and learned so much!

Today was my first time passing meds and it finally made me feel like a real nurse! I can't believe that next week I will be checked off to finally give injections! I'm so nervous.

I get to do a little more each week...and each week gets that much better!

Coffee: America's Pick-Me-Up

Coffee and I have always had a hate-hate relationship . Ever since I was little I thought it was ridiculous to drink coffee for any reason. It was black, bitter, hot and only grown ups drank it. I could never understand why so many people drank coffee. I remember my parents making coffee every morning and hearing the coffee grinder going off at 5 o'clock in the morning when my dad left for work. Members at my church would go nuts for coffee as they socialized around the coffee pot. I mostly thought the people who couldn't function without their coffee were crazy!

Then something came along called nursing school and I am one of those people! I'm hooked! Now it's all about the love. I drink it every morning to get my day started and get crazy if I can't have it. It's warm and sweet and puts me in a better mood. I usually just have one cup, but sometimes I'll sneak two. And I love the sound of the coffee grinder in the morning because it reminds me of my dad [and because I know I'll soon be drinking a delicious cup of coffee].

Plus coffee mugs are too cute. My roommates and I have a whole cupboard full of coffee mugs, and by the end of the week the entire cupboard is empty. I think we only to dishes to wash our mugs, then whatever else gets washed is a plus!

I don't know what I would do without coffee ♥ It's definitely my pick-me-up.

10 months

Ok...so I have 10 more months of school left. But actually, that's not what I'm referring to. Today was a saddened day when I broke down and bit all my nails off. It has been 10 months since I have taken a bite of those juicy things, and I just wasn't strong enough to make it through the year. 10 months has been the longest I have ever gone without biting my nails, and I was sure I was in the clear for being cured. But I was wrong. This program has attacked all of my weaknesses and has an unavoidable response of pushing everyone into a  complete vulnerable state. My poor little nails are now tiny stubs. I did cry just for a little, because it's such an emotional thing.

Of course I will not give up, I will overcome this addicting habit.

Mid-term Already!?!?!

Tomorrow I have my first mid-term in fundamental's of nursing (aka Fundies), but I am not quite fully prepared. I have devoted my weekend to studying for this test, but it seems impossible. I currently have a 78% in the class, and need to maintain a 75% or higher. Of course I would love to get out of the C range, but this class is so unpredictable. The professor in this class is new, so she really has no idea what she is doing. But I really want to dominate this test, so I am at starbucks trying to cram 22 chapters of knowledge in my head. I am really just trying to keep my head above high waters right now.

I'm enjoying studying at starbucks though. The music is soothing and I don't feel like a completely loser like when I hide in the corner of the library.
                                  

"A Person's a Person"

With all the chaos surrounding me lately, I have been enjoying the little reminders of why I am in this program and devoting my life to nursing. If you haven't heard of the movie Horton Hears A Who, then it's definitely a must see. It may be a bit childish and cheesy, but the message is excellent. We were talking about the movie in class the other day and related it to nursing. In the movie, Horton stresses the statement, "A person's a person, no matter how small." This really applies to any kind of person. A person is a person, no matter how small, big, sick, healthy, needy, ugly, beautiful, unconscious, lonely, disfigured, immobile, religious, etc. Each person deserves the health care they deserve, and I want to be that nurse to provide them with the best emotional and physical care.

Today in church, as we were praying for the members in our congregation, there was a prayer for a man who had surgery to remove his cancerous kidney. However, after surgery, he found out they removed the wrong kidney. My heart sank for this man and his family, because a tragic event like that could have been prevented 100%. Currently in class, we are learning about surgeries and how to prevent errors, so I was in complete shock to hear this story. It is very rare to conduct a surgery on the wrong area with so many medical professionals watching over the patient. Please keep this man in your prayers as well as the doctors to correct this mistake.

Foot Update

So last Thursday I had an appointment with my podiatrist and it went so well. He's a great "Dr." and was so helpful. After examining my foot, he took some x-rays and found that I have an accessory bone in my foot. It's basically an extra bone that has no purpose; it's just in the way. Because I have been running most of my life, he thinks the bone has shifted and is now pushing against my peroneal tendon. We did some physical therapy exercises to see if the bone would shift back into place, and so far, my foot has felt so much better. If it doesn't heal completely I will need to have a cortisol shot to reduce the pain. During my shift at the hospital my feet get extremely tired, and I'm hoping I can adjust to standing all day soon.

I have another check up next week to see if anything has changed. 

Clinical Day #3

I wish I had some great stories to tell about my hospital experience, but there really isn't much to say. Plus, I probably wouldn't be able to talk about it anyway. But everything is going well in the hospital. The 12 hour days go by fast, which include the last two hours of debriefing with our instructor.

Every clinical day I get assigned to a nurse that I can follow, get bossed around or basically do whatever she wants me to do (in my limits of course). But I also get to choose a patient that I want to work with for the day and do my "nursing care plan" on. The nurisng care plan, in a nutshell, is assessing, diagnosing, and making recovery goals for the patient. They are rather difficult when I have yet to learn all of the medical jargon. I feel like I look up everything. What would I do without the Internet!?!?

They did keep me on my toes today, because I think I sat down twice. Once for lunch and once for charting on my patient. My feet were aching so bad, so thankfully I have an appointment with a podiatrist tomorrow. I'm hoping to get some sort of answer because my right foot has been giving me pain for quite some time now. I know it's serious because I haven't worn flip-flops in two months! I'm having some separation anxiety from my rainbows. It would be the worst news if the Dr. told me I couldn't wear flip-flops anymore. That is my biggest fear.

Day's are getting so tiring. It's 8:30pm and I am ready for bed :)

Lonliness

This past weekend has been filled with nonstop studying. I've been doing so much studying that I've had to change the scenery up a little. I've moved from my bedroom to the kitchen to Concordia to sitting outside in the sunshine. So far, studying outside has been my favorite. I have my first fundamentals of nursing test tomorrow and I really want to do my absolute best. I have really utilized my time and don't think I could have squeezed in an ounce more of studying.

Since I've become a workaholic, I've have dropped into a state of extreme lonliness. It's not a very good feeling. What I've learned about myself and my study habits is that I have to study in a quite, solitary environment. This requires me to exclude myself from the world and I finally know what it feels like to not check facebook everyday! I feel like no one else in the program is feeling that same way, because they all study together in groups. I wish, so badly, that I could study in groups, because it would allow me to be with people who are going through the same thing as me. Group study sessions just make me feel lost and behind, which gives me great anxiety.

I miss being social, and laughing and not having to worry about what is due tomorrow. I find myself becoming stressed not over my school work, but over my social life. I live for Monday nights of watching The Bachelor with Jeffrey and the Nelson clan, because it's the only social interaction and relaxing time I get. I'm trying my best to relax and get into a routine, but there is just a never ending amount of stuff to do. I hope this stress doesn't fall into depression. 

Hand Hygiene

I have now completed my first two weeks of nursing school. Whew. My brain already feels like it's at its capacity, so I am at loss of words right now. I had my first clinical day in the hospital on Wednesday and that was a bit overwhelming. The first thing we learned was hand hygiene and how important we need clean hands to prevent the transmission of pathogens and diseases. But I found out that I am allergic to the foam hand sanitizer they use in the hospital. The foam or "waterless" sanitizer contains emollients to help moisturize the skin, and I'm guessing that is what is irritating my skin. My hands broke out in hives and were very dry, so now I have to keep my own hand sanitizer in my pocket. I'm basically going to have to have my own sanitizer on me for the rest of my life. Bummer.

                                                                       www.google.com

First Day of School

Today was long and exhausting. But it was finally our official first day of school! I felt like it was the first day of high school again, with getting your backpack together, picking out your super cool outfit and waking up extra early. It was exciting. And I loved that my roomies get up at the same time as me so I'm not lonely in the morning. I enjoy the company while eating breakfast, and they are a motivation to get up in the morning.

Basically, today was a major info day. So I'll try and fill you in on the next couple months of my life. I have class lecture on Monday's and Friday's from 7:30 am to 5 pm. Breaks dispersed throughout the day. Tuesday's I have clinical lab, where I will be practicing all my skills on a mannequin. Wednesday's I have my in hospital clinical from 6 am to 7 pm. I am assigned to Saddleback Memorial Medical Center (SMMC) in Laguna Hills. I was so excited to be assigned to this hospital because it is such a good reputation hospital and it so close to my apartment! And Thursday's are my catch up days for lecture and lab. Doesn't seem too bad right!?!

For clinicals, we start off with medical and surgical nursing, and I'm interested in seeing what I will learning first. I thought blogging would be a great way to help me remember what I learned for the day and jot down what I've been working on throughout the year, however, the HIPAA privacy rules have a different plan for me. I knew I was going to have to limit my thoughts on here because of confidentiality, but the more we discussed it today, the more I ma scared to talk about the things I'm doing. So I will not be discussing ANYTHING I do at the hospital. It just seems to risky to even take the chance. Especially since this last year, a girl got kicked out of nursing school for posting a picture of a placenta of facebook. I'm obviously not about to post anything like that, but I just want to be safe.

I am worried about the lack of time I will have to keep up my relationships. I can already see my mind being totally immersed in nursing.  But I want everyone to know that I am constantly thinking about you and praying for you and I really need all of your love and support right now more than ever.

We did a devotion this morning in class (one thing of love about Concordia) and we talked about Luke 9:23 "Then he said to them all: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.'" God got me where I am right now, in this town, at this school, living with these people, and He is going to guide me into his wishes as I deny myself and turn to him daily.

                                                   

                                                        Me, Ali, and Grace on our first day!

Something NEW

...And a NEW year it is! I am getting overwhelmed with how many NEW things are going to come my way this year. It's only been 6 days into the year and I cannot believe the changes I've already bravely endured. I am slowly getting settled into my very first apartment and trying to get used to all the NEW things that go along with such a big responsibility. It was so easy living in the dorms at Concordia. I didn't have to cook, pay bills, wash dishes, or have to worry about losing my key (just to name a few). Now I feel like I'm in the real world, in complete control of my life, and it's a little scary.

Another NEW thing is learning is how to cook. I must say I am an awful cook. Anyone else would probably say I am over exaggerating just to be nice, but really, I'm awful. And impatient. There are so many things that go into learning how to cook. You have to budget groceries, learn what's on sale, learning cooking terminology, find an easy [tasteful] recipe, attempt the recipe, then you have to avoid burning, melting or setting anything on fire. That sounds like too much work for me. The past week I have been living on cereal, toast, turkey sandwiches, and yogurt. We'll see how long I can survive on that.

Again, it is only 6 days into the year and it is already speeding by. I start school in 3 days!!!

Am I ready? No.

I am feeling rather apprehensive. What if I can't do it? What if I fail? What if the program is too fast paced for me? What if I don't like it? What if I can't prioritize my time? What if I can't prioritize my money? What if tension arises between family and friends? What if my foot doesn't heal?

It's so much to take in right now that it makes me so emotional. I am excited too, but it's hard to let that side of me be known. My prayer right now is for peace and serenity for my first day of school, and to continue that throughout the year. I can't even imagine what type of NEW things nursing school will bring. Bring on the NEW year!